Course over, things learnt. Another one next month, and a few more courses before I become the very best that no one ever was (ever was) (ever was).
After these few weeks, I must really thank the invisible hand that brought me to ATC; people say they screwed around with the MAPAS test and ended up here, and there are people who were posted here when their medical condition should have prevented that. As much as I want to believe that such are fringe cases, the overwhelming evidence to the contrary shuts me up.
Rigger training really inspired me, as someone who built robots that never worked the way we wanted them to. Following the manuals like doctrines written in the blood of freefalls, suppressing the familiarity that breeds contempt, and being sure always. Things that I wish that I did, but it’s never too late to pass all that down once I am free to go back.
I rarely go for the big catches sought by many, and I hope nobody comes bugging me to aim higher than what they think I can achieve. Certainly, setting goals a little higher drives progress, but my goals aren’t overt enough most of the time; the endpoint you see may not be mine.
Another phase of staying away from home, and nothing much has changed. By default I don’t know anything, my stuff are right where I left them, and sleeping without having to climb up a ladder feels weird. Haven’t missed my house for the past half a year.
Meeting peers from prior encounters gives such simple and sweet satisfaction; I finally understand a third of photo albums on FB. Introverted I may be, but certain interactions are worth spending my energy on.
It feels like my trouble with DDR all over again. I really wanted to play it at least semi-well, but unfortunately my leg joints aren’t that capable of handling the stresses involved when playing.
Knowing how is one thing, getting my joints popped all over the place while actually doing it is another. Definitely do not want to leave, but I’m not sure if my body is able to take it in such a short period of time.
A week of tying knots, stuffing parachutes into their bags and messing around with imperial units. I wrote a journal entry for each day and can’t be bothered to type them out.
Not sure if I can either, since a portion of it could be classified. Anyway, Sembawang Camp isn’t too bad and our unit isn’t too bad, but I seem to be the only guy who was excited to be there.
I’ve had a week of civilian life again, which frankly isn’t much considering all I did was 引きこもり and follow various circles to eat. J8 arcade upgraded which is good, SUTD interview went well which is good, my vocation is Aerial Cargo Rigger which is good. Really, I’ve got nothing lousy to talk about except my stiff neck and sore throats from sleeping at home.
Managed to set up various utilities on my server since I’ll be staying in for my training phase. I frankly don’t mind since I would be saving money, but there probably won’t be whatsapp for me.
And with regards to making a decision whether to bring something or not, always remember “It is always easier to magic something away than magic something out”.
This post is dedicated to my platoon mate, Lee Zheng Rong. He was definitely with us in our hearts during the graduation parade.
While I appreciate the sanctity of life, only now do I know the true grief that social circles experience. It was the first time I’ve had much interaction with a person before they passed on. I do not think I am able to come up with a better speech than chief of BMTC, so I shall stop here.
Not sure if I could have gone on for another 9km after I ended, but I am very definitely burnt out by 15km. My feet and groin are fine thanks to ample precautions, but my spine and hips did not take kindly to the tortuous journey. It will be quite a while before we can walk normally again.
To say that this week was really shitty would not be an exaggeration. Not because lots of bad stuff happened, but mainly because I had diarrhoea since Monday. The only bad part was that my fever antibiotics from Sunday was its cause, so I had to finish the full course until Thursday morning. At least I am fine now, but a week of spewing water out of my guts was… memorable, to say the least.
Thanks to the off-in-lieu from our field camp, I managed to catch the RoboCup Open over at SP. I was honestly disappointed, not by the lack of results but by the lack of progress in the scene. At least they got rid of Soccer A. Hopefully the new initiatives by various bodies will get more kids interested in making and creating, but for now I’ll have to work on creating bite-sized chunks of knowledge for our kids to absorb.
Final week on the island (probably), and instead of 24 I’ll be doing 16km I think. Oh well.
Keeping my mind sharp while on the island is proving to be a rather uphill task. Even though I get the benefit of not having sinus problems every morning, the drilling conflicts with my analytics. And some other weird stuff that goes on in my head that isn’t from this realm.
Passing things down was never really my forte, but this time it seems to have worked. All my manual bludgeoning of code from the past seems to have gotten better through the brevity of verbal transmission. I am thankful, and hope to see better things once I’m back.
Finally submitted the application that I have no idea about, and that will not see the light of the day again until late next year. The feeling would have been overwhelming if not for some minor lags along the way.
Three more weeks before I find out what the hell I’ll be up to.
Not a rough week for my body, but it sure was for my mind.
When the third shot of my kneeling position night target missed, I knew my marksman just flew away (I had missed 3 shots in the morning). As much as I know it is just a title that doesn’t really do much, it really meant a lot to me to be able to say that I couldn’t land a shot in game but I could in real life; I had failed rather terribly in that aspect.
It was like my results I guess. Honestly the lack of an A would not bother me about my future prospects, but I would have lost a piece of evidence that I could perform well. Bragging rights aside, the ability to assure others that you are doing perfectly fine is one I value; too many times my caliber was doubted because I never regarded grading as important and thus got marked down. Maybe I have to change my mentality someday, but that can wait.
I used to hate darkness because of the uncertainties that lay within. Maybe something about monsters lurking in the shadows, but the lack of visual information regarding the place I was headed to really daunted me. My solutions were probably geared towards improving my night vision rather than my confidence, but I’d like to think I worked on both. And now I actually welcome darkness for the same reasons I didn’t like it as a kid.
My first sub-12 for 2.4km run came as a genuine surprise; mainly because it wasn’t just one or two seconds under twelve, but a full twenty. I suppose I could push my body more while running, but I would gladly not have my body break down before my mind does.
If I had any expectations for field camp, “good” would not have been the best word to describe them. Even though I went on a few adventure camps and thus had enough experience with the great outdoors, the thought of having to march 8 km and moving around with my rifle at all times just made me uncomfortable enough not to welcome it. However, with the benefit of hindsight, I realise most of my worries were unfounded.
Food was never an issue for me, as I do not go for strong flavours and am totally fine with plain tasting food. Eating combat rations was mostly about figuring out what the hell I was eating before I looked at the label. Trying out all the different items in the accessory packs and stuffing as many biscuits as possible into my vest was a fun experience. In fact, I miss the feeling of opening a vest pouch and instantly getting food. My only regret was not eating many fruit bars, as I feared they would increase the likelihood of defecation.
As luck would have it, we did not experience rainy weather throughout the field camp. There were two passing showers, and neither lasted more than five minutes. The preceding weeks had multiple bouts of rain, and I was rather worried that one would ruin the whole field camp. With horror stories from seniors about sleeping in mud pools that were formerly their shell scrapes and bashas, I was always on my guard for dark clouds that appeared nearby. Thankfully, the six days and five nights passed without incident.
But if any experience was to summarise my entire field camp, it was the complaints of my snoring from those who slept in adjacent bashas and shell scrapes. The stories they told really amused me throughout my field camp. Allegedly, my buddy woke me up to tell me not to snore so loudly but I promptly resumed it about five seconds after responding. Even though I could not confirm them myself, it was a good sign that I was sleeping well throughout the four nights we spent in bashas.
I’m supposed to have started on writing 2x 500 word essays for BMT as part of reflections and journaling, but I felt I’ve got more important things.
I did expect to adjust without severe difficulty, but I didn’t know I was that far right on the bell curve. Of course, after two weeks my peers moved on while there wasn’t much improvement on my end, but nonetheless I was expecting a lot worse. Maybe field camp will shake me up; my mind may be strong, but my body can’t catch up most of the time.
Sad to say, but the only people who actually care about what grades I get are the people outside my immediate family. My parents care only because they would get bugged by my other relatives, and my care merely stems from that bugging. For myself, I would say I didn’t do myself justice if I didn’t ace my Sciences, but I wouldn’t beat myself up over it.
Consistency in my grades was one thing that never really occurred to me in my academic life, and the lack of a valid prediction was really getting on my nerves while waiting in line. The moment I turned the file around and saw the Straight, I knew I
could eat dinner wouldn’t need to hide my self the next time my relatives gather.
I can’t say I worked extremely hard for it, and I know there are more deserving people that did not get the grades. I realised I didn’t have much to gloat about considering my C for HCL last year and my lack of H3s, but at the same time I did all of that without tuition… mixed feelings with impostor syndrome thrown in, I didn’t ask for this.
At least I won’t be booking in with boots full of sorrow.
I’m looking forward to this long gap year where I don’t have to use so much of my brain… to be honest my family is a lot more worried than me about this whole thing.
Quite definitely not fit enough now, especially after all the snacks, but I should be able to manage; the most I would get is a sprained joint somewhere, no biggie.
I have settled most of my persistence issues, but I still do not have JARVIS (yet). Please do not contact me as much as possible.
So, it’s finally this crunch time where I leave my job and take a little rest before going in.
Don’t expect anything for the next year or two.
I will definitely miss everyone.
There is apparently an interface change afoot, as I am posting inline directly into the dashboard… this is uncanny; I feel like I’m speaking to a cliff for some reason.
Most of the stuff that usually happens in the beginning of the year and marks the passing of time hasn’t been around to remind me. Like PW week more than a year ago, I also do not have schedules to mark the passing of a mere week (except for weekends, of course). I think the same will happen in NS.
Yes, I’m pretty sure I’m drowning myself too deeply before entering.